Hogwarts isn't goffic?
by eleveneleven11
Summary: There's a new student at Hogwarts...EBONY DARK'NESS DEMENTIA RAVEN WAY! She's tired of Mary-Sueville! Time for a big change! Will the students and teachers accept her for the beautiful MCR-loving half-vampire goff she is? We can only hope not.
1. Ebony: The Sorting Ceremony

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series or Tara Gilesbie's/Gilespie's/how ever the hell you spell her last name's lovely masterpiece My Immortal.**

A/N: As an HP fanfic reader, you've probably seen some really shitty writing. There are god-awful Dramione stories, slightly disgusting Fred/George-cest, and of course, the endless American transfer students and Mary-Sues. We all must admit though, that the worst of all, hands down is My Immortal. Which is why I must mock it.

My name is Ebony Darkn'ess Dementia Raven Way. As I walk into the great hall, I can feel all eyes on my beautiful waist-length dark ebony hair with purple streaks and red tips and my gorgeous icy blue eyes and my stunning scantily clad body. I could go on for pages about my makeup, clothing, and general sexiness, but I'll stop here. Being this beautiful really is a curse. I can't stand all of the stupid fucking preps that look at me all the time. I should put up my middle finger at them. Giving the finger can solve any problem you know. We should all just put up our middle fingers at global warming! Then the hole in the ozone layer will disappear and all will be dark and cold again. I love darkness!

Today is my first day as a sixth year transfer student at real Hogwarts. I got sick of Mary-Sueville. Way too many preps! I am about to get sorted. The first years behind me all are cowering in fear. You may say it's because I'm half vampire, and would love to suck all their blood, but we all know it's just cause my sexiness is making them so fucking jealous.

"Now to begin the sorting ceremony!" says an ancient man with glasses and a long white beard. I think he's the principal or something. What a prep. I listen as a dusty hat begins to sing. He should have just asked me to sing something! I'm probably way better than the hat! The song finally ends. Then I have to wait for like, ever, for all of these mini preps to sit on a stool, get the hat dumped on them, and then sit back down.

"Way, Ebony," says a female professor who is way less attractive than me.

"WTF, I think you meant Ebony Darkn'ess Dementia Raven Way. I'm a sixth year transfer student. I'm also half vampire, and if you can't tell, a goffic. So stop staring at me stupid preps!" The room goes completely silent. That'll teach them to mess with me!

"Alright then…Ebony. Can you please come up to be sorted?" I strut up to the hat seductively and goffically, sure that all of the preppy guys are staring at my ass. Are there any goffs in this school? Why is my life so fucking depressing?

Well anyway I sit on this stupid stool in front of all the preps and the professor puts the disgusting hat on my head.

"Hmmm," says the hat, much to my surprise. OMFG! Since when do hats talk? "A tough choice…not particularly brave…head's a bit empty…a half-breed…I guess that leaves…HUFFLEPUFF!" The room erupts into roaring cheers. I stand up in horror.

"WTF! I'm no preppy Hufflepuff! You were supposed to put me in Slytherin with all of the cool goffic peoples!" I scream as loud as I can. The female professor walks up to me.

"Miss Way," she whispers angrily. "Go sit at the Hufflepuff table. After the feast is over I'll take you to Professor Sprout's office. She's your head of house, and she'll deal with you." I roll my eyes and put up my middle finger at her before sitting down with a lot of unattractive students. I miss Mary-Sueville. Hogwarts is fucking lame! I inexplicably start crying tears of blood, and attempt to slit my wrists with a spoon. WTF? It isn't working. Satan must hate me. That must be why I'm so sexy and beautiful, because he likes watching me suffer.

**What do you think? I plan on putting each chapter from a different character's perspective…you know Harry/Ron/Hermione/Draco/etc. Please review!**


	2. Draco: Potions Class Gets Interesting

**A/N: Thank you so much if you're reading this, that probably means you have the same sort of sense of humor as me! Please review, even if this sucks, I can handle criticism. This chapter is from Draco's point of view. Enjoy (hopefully)!**

I can already tell that this year is going to be great. The Dark Lord should have sent me on a mission far, far away from this school. The classes are ridiculous, the other students are stupid! I don't deserve this. I just don't.

The dungeon looks different. Much less gloomy without Snape down here. Slughorn's a fool. He's nothing but a fat man with too much time on his hands. He's an embarrassment to the Slytherin house! He didn't want me in his club. So Zabini and Potter have something I don't? Who is he kidding? There are only three tables in the room. Not very many in this class, are there? I assume my seat at the table to the far right. Zabini and a few others from the group sit down with me almost immediately.

"Blaise." I nod in hello.

"Draco," he replies. As if on cue, we're interrupted by Slughorn.

"Hello and welcome class! Scales out, potions books, chop chop," the fool shouts out. "You may have noticed, I've prepared a few potions for you to examine. Can anyone tell me what this one is?" He points to a black cauldron that seems to be wafting the most delicious scent. It's a bit like champagne mixed with fresh snow and the chocolates mum buys at Christmas time…

"It's Amortentia!" I look up. Leave it to Granger to answer the question without even being called on. I want to smack the stupid grin right off her face.

"Yes, yes very good. Amortentia indeed, the most powerful love potion in the world. It smells differently to every person, based upon what attracts them. It also can be highly dangerous " The door swings open, causing everyone's eyes to snap to the back of the room. A girl who looks a bit like a prostitute saunters inside. Who is she? I must have seen her somewhere before…? Oh no. She's the one from the sorting ceremony! The vampire! "Ah, Ebony is it?"

"Ebony Darkn'ess Dementia Raven Way!" she replies.

"Well hustle up, take a seat," says Slughorn. She looks at me. She winks, in this sort of suggestive way. I don't even know her. She walks up to our perfect table, conjures up a chair out of thin air, and sits down next to me. I mean right next to me.

"OMFG hi I'm Ebony!" she whispers. I honestly want to vomit. I scowl at her. "Ooh you're an emo boy aren't you. I wish I was in Slytherin, that's where all the goffs are right?"

"Get away from me filthy half-breed," I sneer.

"WTF? Wait…is there blood in that cauldron? Like human blood?" She points at the Amortentia. Before I, or anyone else, can respond, she lunges at the cauldron and begins gulping down the pearly liquid.

"Ebony!" Slughorn screams. "Ebony stop drinking that!" Her already pale face turns a few shades whiter and she drops the cauldron.

"Ew that's not blood!" she shrieks. Her eyes lock with mine for a split second. Possessed by the potion, she runs toward me. I freeze up in horror, admittedly fearful of what might happen next. She pushes my chair over, knocking me onto the floor. She lays on top of me

"Help!" I scream. Why isn't anyone doing anything? Why hasn't Granger stunned her yet? I try to push Ebony off of me, but not before she presses her lips against mine and shoves her tongue down my throat. I taste the potion inside of her mouth. All negative thoughts of the half-breed attempting to rip my clothes off vanish instantly. How did I not notice how beautiful she was before? She's gorgeous, amazing, a goddess! No one else in this room exists. Just her and me, snogging on the dungeon floor. She's the only girl in the world, I couldn't live without her! I love her clown makeup and her highlighted hair and her black leather corset. I'd love her more without her black leather corset...

I feel myself physically being torn away from her body. "NO!" I cry out in agony. Then a curse hits me square in the chest and the world around me fades to black.

My eyes flutter open. Where am I? The lights are far too bright. The hospital wing maybe?

"Draco you're awake!" I look up. Pansy's standing above me.

"Yeah I am. What happened?" She bends down and kisses my forehead. I try to smile at her.

"Nasty mix up with some love potion and the new girl. Try not to remember sweetie." She kisses my forehead again. And of course, memories of that despicable potions class flood into my brain. All it took to become infatuated with that half-breed was a bit of love potion! My breakfast comes up all over the white sheets.

"Get back to class Parkinson," Madame Pomfrey says briskly as she rushes towards us.

"My poor Drakie-poo, hope you feel better soon!" Pansy whispers before leaving. With a lazy flick of the wand, Madame Pomfrey cleans up the nasty sick

"Anyway you should be fine, you didn't get very much Amortentia in your system. You've already taken the antidote, all effects have worn off. The experience could be emotionally scarring, but otherwise you don't have to stay overnight. Miss Way ingested half a cauldron or so. She's going to be…confused for a while."

"Where is she?" I sneer.

"Don't worry about that. She'll be unconscious until the antidote kicks in."

"I swear that if that filthy half-breed doesn't get expelled-"

"I don't want to hear it Malfoy! You're absolutely fine! Get out of here, go to class!" I sigh and feel hot tears well up in my eyes. Why did this happen to me? I can just picture Potter and his stupid friends, laughing at me right now. No one will be able to take me seriously. The Dark Lord certainly won't. I Draco Malfoy, pureblood wizard, never should have had to undergo this sort of trauma!

I push myself out of the bed and blink away the tears. I need to show these idiots that I'm above this school and above that filthy half-breed.

**The end of Chapter 2! Review please! Any advice or CONSTRUCTIVE criticism would be much appreciated. Thank you for reading!**


	3. Hermione: A Rocky Start

**A/N: I have the utmost gratitude for the five people who have reviewed/have favorited/are following this story! As always, advice, criticism, reviews, etc. are much appreciated! And if you are reading this right now, you win at life. Anyways this chapter is an entry from Hermione's journal; hope you like it!**

_9/6/96_

_Dear Journal,_

_ I've survived my first week back at Hogwarts! Classes were infinitely more challenging; it's a wonder that I'm managing to keep up with the homework demand and still have the time to keep a diary. I'm trying not to think about that fifteen inch Ancient Runes essay, and reading two entire Transfiguration textbooks. I know that I do my best work when I'm relaxed, but I don't see that happening. Professor __McGonagall has told me that I need to calm down and not let the stress get to me. I mean she's right of course I am worried about my studies, however, typical school dramas are preoccupying me as well. _

_ In some ways nothing has changed at all. Ron is being Ron and I wonder if anyone else in the world could simultaneously manage to be so very magnificent and so very irritating. I'm starting to think that Lavender Brown has a bit of a crush on him. I don't need that kind of a distraction in my life! I don't want to dwell on him right now, not on the first Friday of the rest of my life, but he's causing me to go a slightly mad and I won't attempt to deny that._

_ Harry holds the firm belief that Draco Malfoy is a Death Eater. It's insane. He's had a knack for wild theories as long as I've known him, but this is absurd. Nothing I say seems to affect him. He isn't making any sense. Has Sirius' death perhaps…corrupted him slightly? This is Malfoy we're talking about. Malfoy, the whiney little prat, a Death Eater? Come on Harry. Pull yourself together._

_ There is a new student at Hogwarts, and in the 6__th__ year! It's all quite exciting and unheard of. That is, it was exciting, until I actually met the new girl. Her name is Ebony or something of that sort, and I've heard rumors that she's part vampire. Despite the fact that she seems to be almost entirely uneducated, she has the exact same schedule as me. I'm taking ten N.E.W.T. level classes! She claims that at her 'old school' her top marks were more than enough qualification to get her into N.E.W.T. level in ten subjects. What a lying cockroach! She hasn't even read The Standard Book of Spells Grade One! The professors are failing to notice her lack of intelligence or education. And they expect me to help her out, even to tutor her! During potions, she honestly thought that a cauldron of Amortentia was filled with blood, based upon the scent. She acted on impulse, and consumed at least a few liters. I haven't seen her since. I suppose that she's in the hospital wing, large doses of love potion can be dangerous, even fatal!_

_ She swears like a sailor, dresses less than distastefully, and constantly is referring to me as a 'prep'. I who have treated her with nothing but kindness despite her unusual and exasperating tendencies! What am I supposed to do? She doesn't belong at Hogwarts. I don't want to bother Dumbledore, during times as dark as these, but she certainly is a problem. Her general rudeness and disregard of rules should get her expelled in the near future. Until then, I pity the Hufflepuffs who must live with her in close proximity, and the professors who must attempt to fill her empty head with knowledge. I ought to get some sleep. I'll be doing homework all day tomorrow. I hope that I can focus and rid my mind of these petty and mentally draining troubles. _

_-Hermione Jean Granger_

**What do you think so far? Review please! Criticism and advice are welcomed.**_  
_


	4. Snape: An Abomination!

**A/N: Hello readers! The three-day weekend has ended, and so I will be updating less frequently. Keep reviewing/favoriting/letting me know that this story doesn't suck. Criticism and advice are welcomed as always! This chapter is from Snape's perspective…enjoy.**

"Now as some of you may recall, we are currently working on nonverbal spells," I say to my class, making sure that Potter knows whom the comment was directed at. "This means performing magic without the assistance of words. All there is to it is full focus of the mind and body on the spell. No distractions. Some of you may lack the concentration skills to succeed in casting a simple shield charm without speaking the incantation aloud." I catch Potter rolling his eyes. As despicable as his father no doubt, if not more.

The door to my classroom creaks open. A girl walks in; she's pretty enough, but looks like a bit of a dunce. Could be Hufflepuff, or perhaps Gryffindor. And she doesn't seem entirely human. Huh. Must be the new student.

"Miss Way, you've decided to come to class I presume? Despite the fact that you've been bizarrely absent for the past week, and are fifteen minutes late." I narrow my eyes. She has to be Hufflepuff. Even a Gryffindor would know to avoid this sort of situation.

"Well yeah I was in the hospital wing! I was really sick!" she replies with a bit too much sass. For some reason this reaction causes raucous giggling from my students, apart from Draco Malfoy, who seems to be simultaneously blushing and sneering.

"Twenty points from Hufflepuff. Take a seat Miss Way and learn to treat authority figures with respect." Predictably enough, the girl does not sit down.

"WTF Snape? You're a stupid fucking preppy Christian!" she screams at me. Not once in my entire teaching career have I heard a student say something so profane and rude! I take a moment to recover and allow the class to gasp.

"Detention Miss Way, my office this evening at 7:30. You will address me as 'professor' or 'sir'. Take a seat." The moronic girl still is standing by the door! The discomfort and tension of the situation is apparent in the air of the room.

"No fucking way! Creepy pedo, are you inviting me on a date or something? I'm not going in your office. I bet you don't even know who MCR are!"

"Miss Way calm yourself I am a teacher, do keep in mind that I have the power to get you expelled! You will not use inappropriate language in this classroom and you will not treat me with such disrespect. Detention in my office at 7:30 for the rest of the week now take a seat and hold your tongue." I stand there, blood boiling, still in shock at the ignorance of this student!

I hardly notice Granger's hand shoot up in the front row. "Professor Snape if I may, we really ought to be getting started on the lesson "

"Silence Granger, I notice that once again you have spoken out of turn. We will begin the lesson as soon has Miss Way finds her desk. Since you seem to be so eager to learn, I'm sure that you would be happy to catch up Miss Way on all she missed last week." The horrified expression on the know-it-all's face is enough to keep me sane for the rest of the class period. After a brief and awkward pause, Ebony skulks over to her desk. "Thank you Miss Way. Now I may resume. As I was saying before, we will continue to work on nonverbal spells. I would like you all to partner up and practice-using shield charms silently to block offensive curses coming from your opponents. Remember to focus. Well go now!" I watch my students, who seem to still be staring at the girl in the back of the class who apparently is highly skilled in the art of disruption. After realizing they've been given an instruction, they scramble out of their desks. None of them take the dark arts as seriously as they ought to. They're more preoccupied with the drama of a new girl challenging my authority.

I hear Granger ranting as usual, "Ebony do you even know how to use a shield charm? You should have learned in your second year in Defense Against the Dark Arts! How am I supposed to teach you how to perform a nonverbal spell when you don't know any spells to begin with?"

"OMFG that sooo isn't true bitch! I know how to conjure a chair. It's a super important skill stop being such a prep!"

"That's beside the point Ebony and stop calling me offensive names! I'm trying to help. Do you or do you not know how to use defensive magic?" says Granger with her annoyingly shrill know-it-all voice. The entire class seems to be listening on this conversation. Which shouldn't be difficult, considering how loud and distracting the two girls can be on their own or put together.

"WTF is defensive magic?" I watch in disbelief as blood streams out of Miss Way's ice colored eyes. "This is so fucking stressful and everyone here is a prep and no one's helping me, especially not you Hermio. Why can't you be more goff like my old friends?" I find it necessary to interject at this point.

"Miss Way, is that blood coming from your eyes, or some other type of red liquid? That isn't a normal bodily reaction under any circumstances, you ought to go back to the hospital wing and get that checked out "

"I AM NOT GOING BACK THERE NOW LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE PEDO!" she shrieks. "DOES NO ONE UNDERSTAND HOW HARD THIS IS FOR ME? CAN YOU STOP BEING SO FUCKING SELFISH AND JUDGING ME CAUSE I'M GOFFIC AND PART VAMPIRE? I'M GONNA GO SLIT MY WRISTS NOW IF I DON'T COME BACK I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL!" She then sprints out of the room, leaving nothing but a few drops of blood on my floor. No one dares speak for an entire minute.

"Get back to work class, Granger, find a new partner," I say, trying not to look affected. I'm a professor after all. I must be prepared for situations such as this. I hear insufferable amounts of groaning and whispering such as 'Is she gonna kill herself?' and 'Did you see that? She was crying blood!'. Let them. The ones with brains surely are aware that knowledge of the dark arts will benefit them far more than a bit of gossip. Of course, this Ebony Way is no ordinary bit of gossip, I should inform the headmaster of her foul mouth and self-destructive behaviors. She's an abomination to the very structure of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. If possible, I will have hand in her expulsion.

**How was that? Snape's point of view was a lot more fun than I expected! Any ideas on character's you'd like me to cover? Thanks for reading and review please!**


	5. Myrtle: Dreadful Days in the Lavatory

**A/N: I'm back! I gave up on fanfiction for a while…I'm not really sure why. Anyway I just made the sudden decision to continue this story so here goes. Chapter five is from Moaning Myrtle's perspective.**

It's been a normal afternoon so far. No strange boys have come in the girl's lavatory to bother me. Of course, I wouldn't mind if a handsome boy came to bother me. Maybe like Mr. Harry Potter or Cedric What's-his-name. Wait, that Cedric boy died didn't he! Why isn't he a ghost? I would certainly have let him share my toilet. Now I'll be all alone in this bathroom forever. Poor Myrtle!

I know that I'm crying, but I can't feel the tears or taste them. Being melodramatic was so much more fun in human life! At least I had the company of that awful Olive Hornby. I let out a loud wail, hoping someone will hear and run in the lavatory to see what happened to me.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS SCHOOL?" I look up in shock. Who is in my toilet? I whip around, my pigtails flying.

"Who are YOU?" I say to a girl with blood streaming down her face.

"None of your fucking business prep!" How rude of her! I release another howl of despair. Why are people so very mean? It's dreadful!

"Excuse me, why would you march into MY lavatory and say such foul things?" I turn around. I can't keep looking at this girl's face! She has on lots of makeup. Boys probably like her. They don't like me. I try to taste the salt of my tears. They're as flavorless as usual, horrible despicable miserable!

"OMFG!" Her voice sounds almost cheerful. How can she be happy as I moan? "You're a ghost aren't you?"

"YES! Don't be so nasty and rub it in!"

"Aaaaah that is so fucking cool and goffic! If I don't go to hell when I die I sooo want to be a ghost like from dat one MCR song OMFG!" she shouts. She wants to be a ghost? She just said I was cool! I turn around shocked.

"Really? Being de…dea…de-"

"DEAD!"

"Yes precisely, it's absolutely dreadful. But if you do die, you're welcome to share my toilet! It's a lovely place to cry your eyes out." She smiles, revealing pointy white teeth with the slightest tinge of red. I bet people make fun of her for those, just like they make fun of my glasses.

"OMG girl that sounds almost as fucking awesome as a group cutting session or fucking two hot sensitive bi guys at the same time!" I nod vigorously as if I know what she's talking about. I can't lose her now, not after I almost have a friend like Harry Potter should have been. "Well, bitch, my name's Ebony. Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. I'm a vampire and a goff and I love MCR and GC." I'm so very confused, I need to ask this Ebony some questions, like why does she have such a large quantity of names? I only have one name. Myrtle. And it has a dreadful ring to it. I find my self sobbing for a few seconds. I should tell her my dreadful name.

"My name is-"

"Hey bitch I gotta fucking go I really need some human blood. I'm gonna grab a Gryffindor prep on the way to the dormitory. Maybe I'll get that emo boy to do it with me later. I'll come back and we can do some goff stuff," she says with a wave of her hand, which is inexplicably as white as my own. Just like that, she disappears from my bathroom. All I can think about is that I, poor Moaning Myrtle, am friends with a girl who doesn't mock me or my glasses. My life is, no my death, is complete. I'm dead. It's so pitiful that I scream full of pain in my transparent, non-existent body. At least I have a FRIEND with five names that thinks being a ghost is cool.

**Review if you have anything to say! **


	6. Ginny: ATTACK

The hallways are empty. No one is out anymore, talking and laughing with friends. They're all shut up in their dormitories where they think that they're safe. I guess nowhere really is safe anymore.

If I don't get to the Quidditch pitch soon I'm going to lose my mind. Quidditch season is going to be excellent this year, I can tell already. Harry is best captain ever! If only Ron could pull himself together and start blocking the quaffle once in a while. It's a good thing he and Harry are best mates, otherwise he wouldn't even have made the team

I hear footsteps behind me. Quick, loud footsteps that make an echoing clacking noise in the deserted hall. Someone must be wearing high heels. I don't know of anyone at Hogwarts that wears those dysfunctional shoes. On instinct, I feel for my wand in the depths of my cloak pocket.

I turn my head just slightly and look behind me. Panic washes away. It's only that new girl, the one who dresses oddly and isn't very smart. I continue on my way to the Quidditch pitch, clutching my broomstick tightly. There's something really weird about the new girl. I've heard some pretty awful sounding rumors about her. Of course, I don't know if they're true, but you have to do something to even get stories of that sort started.

"HEY YOU! GINGER PREP!" I stop in my tracks, startled.

"Are you talking to me?" I call out.

"Yeah hold up I need to fucking ask you something, I'm new here, and I'm fucking lost!" she shouts. I look at her. She's walking towards me quickly.

"Okay, what is it?" I have to look up to make eye contact with her, although I don't know why I'd want to. Her eyes whites are kind of red. Hermione told me that she started crying blood in DADA today. She saw it first hand. A shudder rushes through my body. I'm going to be late to practice if she doesn't hurry up.

A long pause of pure, awkward silence is uncomfortably evident. I don't scare easily, but I'd say that this girl is giving me the creeps. Out of nowhere, she thrusts her face in my direction as if she's about to snog me or something! Except then I feel sharp teeth digging into my neck and I remember that she is of vampire decent! Horrified, I scream as loud as I can.

I attempt to push her away from me as I fumble around for my wand. I draw it from my pocket and fire a string of Bat-Bogey hexes in her direction. The teeth are now out of my flesh and I become aware of the hot sticky blood pouring down my neck. My head feels unbelievably light and my surroundings are spinning. People are running towards me. The vampire girl gets stunned and taken away.

"Ginny! Ginny! This is Professor McGonagall, can you hear me?" I can hear her, and see her, but something seems off. Maybe too bright or too blurry. I don't know I must be losing a lot of blood.

"Yeah, yeah I can I'm fine."

"Alright dear we need to get you to the hospital wing immediately! You two over there! Take Miss Weasley to the hospital wing, go quickly now and don't stop for anything she's very hurt." Hands grasp onto my arms and take me through the hallways, down the stairs, and into the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey lets me lay down, and fusses over my wound and makes the bleeding stop. She gives me a potion for something or other, but it also makes me drowsy and my eyes get real heavy and close for an instant…

"She attacked another student! Planned on killing her, no doubt. If Ginny Weasley weren't so skilled with the Bat-Bogey hex who knows what would have happened!" I must have slept through the night. Light is shining in through the blinds on the window across the room. Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore are on the other side of the room. They don't seem to have noticed that I'm awake.

"Yes Minerva, I'm aware of that," he says to her, looking as concerned as I've ever seen him.

"What are we supposed to do with her? She can't stay at Hogwarts! But where else does she have to go? Can she be criminally charged for attempted murder? Albus this is serious! People will talk; the vampire community is going to have trouble…" I can't believe that really happened! I mean, I was talking to that weird girl, and she just bit my neck and started sucking my blood! Dad told me that vampires were civilized creatures, certainly not the kind to lunge at someone's neck during a conversation. I would think this is pretty funny if I wasn't the one with the bite mark scar on my neck. I press my fingertips against my neck. A soft bandage covers the wound. It's going to take a while to heal I bet.

"They will certainly. For now, all we can do is expel Miss Way, make sure she doesn't come back to Hogwarts, and keep our students safe."

"But Albus, she's dangerous! She attacked another student! Her only reason being that she was feeling in dire need of blood. She doesn't seemed to have realized that she's only half vampire and doesn't even need blood to survive," says McGonagall.

"She's unstable Minerva. She's been reported having aggressive and self-destructive behaviors. She also may be delusional and has difficulty processing information. She doesn't seem to have a parent or guardian, so we could legally send her to Saint Mungo's for analysis and treatment." Bloody hell, St. Mungo's? Shouldn't she be in Azkaban? One vampire urge, and the bitch tries to kill me. She left a scar on my neck!

"Minerva, Albus, out! Miss Weasley is awake, she's clearly traumatized, she needs rest!" shouts Madame Pomfrey as she bustles in through the door. McGonagall and Dumbledore look over at me, one with shock and the other with a perfectly regained calm. They probably don't blame me for listening in on their conversation. I am the traumatized one after all. I almost got eaten and lived to tell the tale. Could this story make the Daily Prophet? Front page? Maybe it would take some attention off of Harry. I can only hope right.


	7. Harry: She Smells Like Flowers

"You think she's okay mate?" Ron says. I give a shallow nod while trying to breathe, walk in a straight line, and keep my head at the same time. I don't think it's possible. I mean, she's Ron's sister after all, practically my sister, right? I mean of course she is. We grew up together. Why did the vampire girl have to pick Ginny? Why'd she have to take a chunk out of her beautiful neck? People need to stop putting their mouths on that girl's neck. One minute she's snogging Dean and the next she's getting attacked. She's only fifteen. It's ridiculous.

"Yeah definitely." I push open the hospital wing door and hold it for Ron. Relief hits me immediately. Ginny is sitting up in bed, her red hair looking real bright against the white sheets. Despite the large plaster covering the left side of her neck, she's smiling in that bored way like she's glad someone came to see her.

"Wotcher Harry, Ron! It's about time!" she says happily. She is my best mate's sister, but I think it's okay that I'm noticing how pretty she is right now. Her hair is longer, and she has a nice smile, and always smells like flowers. Really good smelling flowers too. Kind of like she's grown up a lot over the years, that's all.

"How're you doing?" I ask her.

"Oh I'm fine. A fair bit disappointed about missing practice though. And Madame Pomfrey won't let me leave here even though the scarring's almost gone and everything!" I suppose that a nice smile is an understatement. Ginny's smile shines. Like stars or something. It probably seems weird that I'm looking at her mouth. Only her smile! Not her lips, I swear it on my invisibility cloak!

"Fine? I mean, Merlin's beard Ginny you almost got eaten," says Ron.

"Well, it was bad certainly, but I took a potion to get rid of the bite mark. This girl Ebony just walks up to me in the hall, starts blabbing about something, and sinks her teeth into my neck." For some bizarre reason, Ginny is giggling at this point.

"Bloody hell!" Ron and I shout in unison. She starts laughing full on.

"Funny you should say that! There was blood everywhere in fact, all over my hair, on my neck, in her throat, on the floor. I took a second to panic, and then gave her my best Bat-Bogey. As you can see, it saved my life." I try to think about Ginny's hex missing. I try to think about every last drop of blood being sucked from her body until the Ginny I've grown to know and love would be gone just like my parents, Cedric, Sirius, and countless others. I meant love as a sister, just to clarify. I find it to be a difficult, nearly unbearable thought.

"That Ebony girl seemed odd, she was thick enough to guzzle love potion and swear at Snape…" I mutter.

"Blimey Harry she isn't thick, she's a nutter! Did you not just hear what she did to my sister?"

"Ron," Ginny says sharply. "I'm sure Harry knows that vampire girl is barking mad!"

"Okay Ginny calm down! He's my best mate; I know he's no foolish bloke. No need for all the cheek."

"I wasn't being cheeky, I'm traumatized remember?" She reaches up to push a piece of hair out of her eye.

"Well you seemed ruddy cheerful about a minute ago!" Ron snaps back. It's only a little argument, but the tension is a bit uncomfortable.

"That was before you insulted Harry."

"I didn't insult Harry!"

"Do you have to be such a prat Ron?"

"Um, thanks for that Ginny, but it really wasn't a big deal," I say, getting exasperated. "It's fine Ron. Could you two cut that out, thanks?"

Before either of them have a chance to respond, we're interrupted by a loud shriek, followed by a remark that probably can be heard by the entire castle, "OMFG NOOOOOOO! NO WAY MOTHERFUCKERS! YOU ARE NOT FUCKING LOCKING ME UP PREPS! I'M NOT CRAZY, I'M DEPRESSED BUT I'VE GOT MEDS FOR IT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The mutual look of horror on our faces sends all thoughts of sibling squabbles down the toilet.

**A/N: Hey thanks for all the views and such ever since I posted the Ginny chapter. Did you catch the incessant amount of British slang between Harry and Ron? Bloody brilliant, huh?**


	8. Ebony: The End

**A/N: It's been far too long! Thanks for not letting me post chapters for OVER A WEEK fanfiction. I've been going crazy, sitting at the computer with a completed chapter and not being able to publish it. By the way the chapter isn't named "The End." because it's the end of the story. I will be posting at least one more chapter. It's named "The End." after a certain song by a certain band much loved by our friend Ebony Darkn'ess Dementia Raven Way...  
**

"OMFG NOOOOOOO! NO WAY MOTHERFUCKERS! YOU ARE NOT FUCKING LOCKING ME UP PREPS! I'M NOT CRAZY, I'M DEPRESSED BUT I'VE GOT MEDS FOR IT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I scream as loud as I can, staring at Dumbledork in horror. This can't be happening. Somebody fucking wake me up! They are not sending me to Saint Mango's! I'm a smart, sexy girl and they know it, I don't need "help". Why would my professors want to send me to a fucking hospital? I'm a vampire, when we get hungry, people are supposed to die. That's how it works. Stupid Christians.

WTF am I supposed to fucking do? I have to get out of here now. Before they take me away. As a distraction, I pull down my black and red striped leather miniskirt, revealing my lacy, black thong. All eyes in the room are on my ass. Whatever. I give them the double finger before running out of the office seductively and as fast as I can. I slip into a broom closet and wait for the professors to go by.

Once they're gone, I start making my way to the Hufflepuff dormitory. I know what I have to do to stay out of Saint Mango's. There's really only one solution.

Tears of blood cascade down my face like rain falling in the dead of night when the vampires are out sucking the life from humans. OMG. I'm never going to fuck that emo boy or convince my preppy roommates to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas. I never will have heard from over a thousand people that I'm attractive, sexy, hot, intelligent, beautiful, and perfect. I never will have a vision from Satan about who I'm supposed to become. I guess I'm supposed to be a stunningly gorgeous, yet suicidal teen that tragically kills herself. It's so fucking depressing that I want to slit my wrists. But to do some real damage on my own life I'm gonna need to stake myself in the heart.

Once I reach my dormitory, I remove all of my clothing and stare at my sexy body in the mirror for a good ten minutes. Then I put on my favorite dress. The top is a black corset with accents of red and purple lace. It's extremely low cut and shows off my SEXY cleavage. The skirt is also black, and it dramatically flows from my waist to the floor. It's covered in pictures of Gerard Way's face, pentagrams, and skulls that I painted with my own blood. Did I mention that I'm an amazing artist? I'm great with any medium, but blood is really versatile.

I take the time to apply a shit load of makeup. White foundation, dark red lipstick, and so much black eyeliner that it almost coats my whole face. I look fucking kawaii. I wink seductively at my reflection. Then I pull a wooden stake out of my Marylin Manson makeup bag.

I put on some Good Charlotte and turn it up loud. I dance to the music, painfully aware of my moving body and expanding lungs. I don't think I want to die. Fuck. Does this make me a poser?

My life doesn't feel complete. But why should I fucking care? I don't want to complete it in an "institution". Whatever the fuck that is. Sounds preppy. I have to focus. I have to drive this stake into my heart. I have to do it. It's the goffic way, it's something I've dreamed of doing forever. Teen suicide is all edgy and cool and full of angst.

I shut my eyes so that more tears of blood don't pour out and fuck up my makeup. I push the sharp end of the stake between my boobs and against my skin. I get ready to drive it in, feel a flash of pain, and become the ultimate goffic being: a ghost. This shouldn't be so difficult. I give myself ten seconds to compose myself. Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One.

I shove my hands against the end of the stake and feel the wood penetrate me. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! SATAN HELP ME! I CAN'T TELL IF I'M SCREAMING, I CAN'T SEE, ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS THE PAIN IN MY CHEST! I seem to be surrounded by a blinding fucking light. Fuck it hurts, it HURTS! The air around me is shallow. It isn't enough.

I use the last bit of air I have to utter out the words I know will be the last in my mortal life, "So long and goodnight, so long and goodnight…" The light begins to fade away, and I bet that my eyes have rolled up and they look all cool and goffic. Yeah, I'm no fucking poser. I'm the hottest, most goffic bitch in this joint and no one will ever be able to take that away from me. I let go of my sexy body and depressing life and allow Satan to take me…TO THE END!


	9. Epilogue

The body of Ebony Darkn'ess Dementia Raven Way was located shortly after the sighting of her ghost. She was thought to look like a gothic princess with her dark makeup and dramatic ball gown. And of course the wooden stake emerging from between her breasts surrounded by oozing blood.

She floated around the grounds of Hogwarts, swearing at first years, partying with her best friend Myrtle, and following her idol, the Bloody Baron. Rumors flew about the scary ghost, the teenage girl with an American accent and maniacal expression. Her most common place of haunting was the Hufflepuff girl's dormitory, the sight of her death, where she would sing My Chemical Romance songs for days and nights, or tell extravagant stories of misery and pain.

Whenever she was referred to as simply 'vampire girl', she would snap back in her shrill, frightening voice, "EBONY DARKN'ESS DEMENTIA RAVEN WAY!" The echo of her scream could be heard throughout the entire castle.

Peeves had a knack for driving her beyond crazy, just by shouting insults such as "ugly poser prep", which he learned from her directly. Enough teasing would send Ebony into a state where she would forget she was dead for a long period of time and spend hours on end attempting to slit her transparent wrists. Only her loyal companion Myrtle could convince her that she was a ghost and was physically incapable of self-mutilation.

In life or death, Ebony at least could feel some kind of peace knowing that every second of every day, she was getting noticed. Despite her claims of independence and mysterious aloof, all that 'vampire girl' really wanted was a decent amount of attention. Between the ridiculous clothing, dark makeup, and foul mouth, people would stare at the strange, see-through being gliding by.

For the rest of eternity, she remained at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry; frozen in time. As Ebony herself would say, fuck off preps. Stay goffic.

**A/N: Well, that's it. Thanks for reading! I finally have finished my first ever fanfiction story. Make sure to favorite me, I promise that more writing will be coming soon!**


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